I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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