So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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