Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I have post one night stand depression
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
