girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
