He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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