i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
