you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize