If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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