i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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