This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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