id be glad to
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
