I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
