I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
