I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
