He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
