dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
