this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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