I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
So many bounce houses so little time
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
as a side note pls kill me
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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