We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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