At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize