She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
