i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
