Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Your mouth is God's brothel.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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