Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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