hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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