When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
