I need help removing her.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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