I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
