During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
