Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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