I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize