he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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