they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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