How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
is wine microwaveable?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
