I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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