Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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