So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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