Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
