Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
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