my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize