just come out here and I will go home with you...
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
