PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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