your parents love me but you hate me
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
