So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
