There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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