And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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