my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
