god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
is wine microwaveable?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
