I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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