maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
