can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
