I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
