fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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