I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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