North Korea, Best Korea!
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
