It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
My vagina just clenched in fear
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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